Disordered

The title pretty much sums it up...

I have had a realization of sorts today... my priorities are not in order. So I'm using this post to sort them out...

Priorities BEFORE my realization

1. Lilly
2. ME
3. family
4. bills
5. having fun
6. friends

Take a moment to look at this and notice that I've been messing up lately. For example look at number 2 and then look at the bottom... messed up, I know.

I've been worrying more about myself than my family or friends... granted Lilly will always be my #1 but my family and friends should have been higher up on my list. especially above myself. because even if i'm not taking care of myself, a loving and caring family and group of friends can get you through just about anything.

if your wondering where all this is coming from here it goes, It took ONE text message from a friend of mine to make me stop and think "what are you doing? this is one of your best friends and you haven't had the common courtesy to stop and call her in the past 2 weeks just to see how things have been?" because if i had done that i would have known that i had a friend in need, but my head has been up my butt lately and i need to take 2 seconds to pull it out and take a look around.

I've been worrying too much about myself and not about what really matters in the end.

lately its been...

I wanted to go swimming
I wanted to go have fun

I wanted to go workout
I wanted to stay home
I...
I...
I!

I have so many friends in the same boat as me with this deployment and I seem to forget that at times. If I'm feeling lonely chances are one of them is also feeling lonely, so why not pick up the phone and ask them to hang out or work out or something... ANYTHING?

These are the things that have been on my mind since I got that text this morning.

So I'm re-prioritizing... and here it is

AFTER my realization

1. Lilly
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Me
5. Bills
6. Having fun  

(don't get me wrong i love to have fun as long as everything else is taken care of)

And to my friend who sent me that text... 

if your reading this...

I really am sorry